Oftentimes I am a little terrified of going to church. Not because I’m afraid of the people by any means, but because so often the pastor will say something that the Holy Spirit uses to cut my heart wide open and reveal a sin or something else in my life that I haven’t exposed to God yet. It’s like when I was younger when my mom would ask me about something that I did that I had no idea she knew about. It goes a little something like, “Hey sweetie, how are the neighbors?”, and I go, “Fine.”, and then, “Were you just not going to tell me about how you broke their window with a golf ball?”. That one stung, and also got me grounded for two weeks.

 

Similarly with God we very often experience these types of convictions, what I call “Spotlight moments”. God will shine a spotlight and expose something within ourselves that we maybe didn’t want him to see, or maybe weren’t even thinking about. It leaves you feeling exposed, embarrassed of yourself, or shocked. And it makes sense: “everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.”(John 3:20). We so often take these convictions, these “Spotlight” moments and put ourselves in a place of anxiety and shame. However, God calls us to see these moments in a new way.

 

It says in Proverbs three verse twelve, “the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father, the son he delights in”. I remember whenever my mom would get on my case about doing well in school, giving me a curfew, not letting me hang out with certain people, or any other disciplinary thing. She would always add, “I do this because I love you”. And as much of a frustrating answer as it was to the question of why, it was a perfect answer. In the same way that my mother calls me out for being a tool and gives me boundaries, God also calls us out for our sin and gives us boundaries because He loves us, and His love for us is deeper than the deepest trench and stretches as far as the east is from the west. God shines his Holy spotlight on us because He deeply cares for us, his children.

 

God, may we not turn away, hide, or run when you shine on us with your goodness and your righteousness. May it be a reminder to us that You have a deep love for us, our well being and our relationship with You. You Shine Your light on us so that we may continue our journey deeper into our relationship with You. It doesn’t feel great, God, but it is good, and good things are worth enduring for. So help us endure and press in, not turn and run from the God who loves us more than we can possibly think or imagine.